There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
