how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
