Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
