That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
