Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she told me i tasted like america
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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