I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
