I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
