Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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