....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
