Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
