i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
