Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Are my feet made of real feet?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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