Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
