after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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