she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
