who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
