dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
