Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
