Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
