I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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