I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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