yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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