I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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