Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
