You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How does it feel to date your dad?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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