i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
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