Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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