with your own penis?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
