sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Randomize
