Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
