my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
either way he was missing a nipple.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
