I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
