so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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