I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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