I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
