White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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