I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Cover your peen. We're going out.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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