I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Randomize
