are you still at the devil's house?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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