If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
