Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I looked at my own cervix.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
