did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
