I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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