Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
