You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
