he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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