you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
