Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
