so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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