True but thats because hes a fetus.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
